Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Another Day in the Life of Early Dementia (A Dementia Story of Love Series)

At least Mom and I had come to an agreement that she was not to call me at work unless it was a hospital type emergency.  She left voice mails at my home phone and I could collect them when I had a break time. At this point in time I was working 32 hours a week.  Mick and I were keeping up our home and the folk’s home which Mom wasn’t ready to sell yet AND visiting the folks at 2 different facilities.  Many mornings I went in to feed Dad his breakfast. Hum. If we’d have had kids when we first married they’d be teenagers by now…..maybe there is a reason I never got pregnant and we didn’t have children.

Voice mail from Mom wanting to move Dad to the facility he’d been in before NOW.

Lord, help us!

Ah, Lord God, nothing is too difficult for You – melt/meld Mick and me together in Your love….

Touch Mom and Dad….Help me with a regular quiet time, praise, prayer and sitting at Your feet….

The weekend with Mom was terrible wanting to move Dad, because a dog came into his room after she left the door open? She is not listening to reason. I was in tears and she said she’d no longer be responsible if anything happened.

We were hiking and the Lord showed me Moses (Dad) and Aaron and Hur (Colette and me and our husbands and our prayer back up) And how Aaron and Hur held up Moses’s arms and he had victory. AND that Mom was released from responsibility and it was being transferred to us. My sister, Colette
Had gotten the same illustration from the Lord and had shared it with Mom unbeknownst to me.

When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. (NIV)

I was the one in closest proximity so I was the one who got “I AM the WIFE, you are the daughter, I am in charge…”

It was then I had to gently tell her (she and I are both old RNs) that Dad didn’t even have a bedsore though he was in diapers and that I did not think he should be moved and neither did my sister. He was getting excellent care there and didn’t want to move again.

“If something BAD happens, it is your fault….”

I could only draw her close and give her a big hug and tell her that I loved her.

I got a call the following day from Two Men and a Truck telling me that Mom told them I’d write a check and they had just finished moving her. Dad was safe in the facility where he was getting such good care.

(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with with proper credits.


tainterturtles said...

Good job putting your blog together Marijo...I love it. I will let mom and dad know I know have a link on my blog to your blog.

Love ya cousin!

Marijo (Mary Jo) Phelps said...

Good to see you and Ted here! A friend did the blog layout for me because i didn't have a clue (still don't but learning!) Have a great Tuesday!

Laury said...

I can't imagine living through this with parents. Did your dad have dementia, too, Marijo?

Marijo (Mary Jo) Phelps said...

Yes, he had a different kind than Mom (stories coming)but we had a miracle after a wrong diagnosis and wrong meds that made him much worse...he actually got back to "normal" and could function even with his investments etc but his body.... oh, my.... coming soon those stories.