Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Poems from Another Lifetime Part 3

Written before I came to the Lord and you can tell by the sadness and angst in most of them.....

As I Look at You
And you ask me to open myself to you
To reach out and touch,
To risk being hurt
But is it me you wish to know
Or how I respond to you, imperious Aries?
Who is it you really care about?
I think you are trying to ego-trip
Through another page of your life,
But the page is blank
Because I won’t reach out to you…..
So you sit around being melancholy
In the rain
Thinking of how it might have been for us
When you know inside
That I would be like all the rest
Novel for awhile, then gone from your thoughts
And I realize that you will never find anyone
Until you lose yourself.

Four posted  and white with Scandinavian design of red and blue
Yours since childhood, you told me
And now the sole piece of furniture
In the dimly lit basement you call your room
And as we sprawled there rapping, verbal fencing, if you will
I felt a start of closeness
That begins even before a touch
You said “you trust me” and seemed surprised
I was surprised by answering yes
And realizing it was true
We spoke of friends and closeness
Indirectly of hurt and fear….. loneliness
We teased a little before you kissed me
And we were closer, to what I am not sure
Only that I miss it and you
As I am here alone tonight.

Only in a Dream
I shut my eyes and began to dream
I slept so long,
So long that when I awoke
I smiled, stretched, like I would after a dream
It was warm, scratched my legs, arms and back
It prickled as I stretched again.
The sand felt real, the sun making my eyes water
As I slowly opened them looking around
The foamy water tickled my feet
As my nose tingled from the salty air
No one was there as I stood up and ran,
My feet pounding in the sand
As it slapped back with every stride I took
Suddenly I stopped
For there was someone else
Unaware of me, he slept in the sand
I stood and watched his peaceful breathing
As the sun glinted on his deeply tanned back
As I looked a small tear trickled down my cheek
I dropped to my knees and lay beside him
Knowing that soon I would have to go
Leaving him there as before
As I sighed his eye lids fluttered open
He blinked in the sun
Gently he put his arms around me
And held me close to him
I moved nearer
And tipped my head for a kiss
You were he
And might have been on that beach
As I opened my eyes
There were tears on my cheeks
I was there and found you
But only in a dream.

Touch My Mind
Touch my mind if you will
But please don’t hassle my emotions
I may want to feel close to you
But only to hug and hold for today

I’ve told you again I won’t be committed
To anyone except me
But you chose to ignore what I spoke
For what you wished was in my heart

I must be free by myself
Until I find someone with whom I can BE
And yet remain free and not trapped
The time isn’t now
And the someone can’t be you

Once again my outraged sense of freedom
Must escape the confining closeness
Or perish and die
Taking with it my soul

Touch my mind if you will
Won’t someone please reach out
And touch my mind?

 (C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.

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